Ahh… Fatherhood. Where you finally get the seal of approval from the other dads allowing you the honour of making dad jokes. And when you get to wear that sweet “#1 Dad” t-shirt in public that you’ve been saving. Or when you find another dad in public wearing the same dad sandals as you and you both give each other the nod of approval.
Fatherhood in all its glory can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling – but sometimes dads don’t always get the credit they deserve. Now before I get attacked by an angry mob of mothers, I never said dads are better than you – I know you’re all incredibly hard-working, loving, compassionate creatures, and wouldn’t do anything to hurt a soul, but I’ve been to a dance recital before, I know what demons you have deep down inside. (Just kidding, we love you).
No matter if you’re a veteran dad, a brand new one, or thinking of becoming a dad – we all have one thing in common. We have no idea how to deal with those tiny Velociraptors, and we’re just trying our hardest to survive.
The funny part is, we’re all in this together – no matter what books your wife forces you to read, or advice you come across on Facebook, there’s no real way that you can prepare for becoming a dad – it just kinda happens, and anyone who says they have it all figured out is a damn liar.
Nevertheless, here are some funny expectations and realities about becoming a father.
Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash
Expectation
In order to be a good father, I will always put my children first.
Reality
False. As a matter of fact, it’s quite the opposite. Yeah, yeah, you need to make sure those little rug monsters are fed, clothed, sheltered, loved and all that fun stuff. But when you’ve had a long, tiring day at work, you bet your butt mom’s going to hand that child to you before you had time to take your shoes off.
The fact is, in order to be the best you for your kids, you need to also make sure you get some relaxing time to yourself. I get up early in the morning, hours before anyone else in the house, just to get some time alone – drink a coffee, watch some T.V. or play some games, to me, this helps me dramatically be a better parent.
Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash
Expectation
You and your wife will always agree on how to parent
Reality
Ehhh… Wrong. Not happening. The reality is you both had a different upbringing, with different household values and morals and had different types of parents raise you altogether. As a result, it’s almost a guarantee that you will inevitably come to a situation where you both disagree with each other’s approach. You might both have the same plan and goals for your kids in the end, but if your wife is anything like mine – be prepared.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Expectation
Children won’t change our marriage
Reality
Children absolutely can and have ruined marriages before. Not that they are always trying to, but it will absolutely cause many, many challenges and strains on your marriage whether you believe it or not. I wholeheartedly believe that it’s important to take a break from parenting every once in a while, and take some time to chat with your wife, just ask how she’s doing.
My wife and I connect and share our thoughts at night when the kids are in bed, as you hear many parents doing. But our conversations are not always about the kids, and it shouldn’t have to be – it’s also important to take a step back every once in a while and simply reconnect and talk to each other.
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Expectation
I’ll be strict and my kids will listen no matter what!
Reality
A lot of dads expect to rule with an iron fist and that their kids will listen to them no matter what. Righhhtt. Good luck with that.
It turns out that disciplining and saying no is actually very hard. When you have those little eyes staring up at you saying “Please, Daddy – just one!” After mom specifically said not yet – you bet your butt there will be times that kid will be eating at least 2 chocolate chip cookies before dinner. I’m telling you, it’s hard. They are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. My kids play me like a fiddle and even though I try my best, I suck at saying no.
Photo by Harry Grout on Unsplash
Expectation
I’ll never let my kids eat whatever they want – they’ll eat what we make
Reality
More like, kid 1 is dropping her entire plate on the ground while the dog runs the mad dash to eat it before we can make it there. Kid 2 and kid 3 are fighting over what chair they get to sit on while dropping mashed potatoes down the vent.
Trust me. It’s easy to criticize those parents who give in every time their kid is disgusted with food, but the reality is sometimes you’re just grateful they are eating. It’s not always taking the easy way out, sometimes you’ve tried and tried. Dinner, after delicious dinner, and they want nothing to do with it.
The best part about it is mom will ask what everyone wants for dinner, the kids will painfully agree on something, and mom will spend hours in the kitchen making it. Then when it’s ready to eat – the kids decide they don’t want it anymore. Classic. Sometimes it’s better to get something in their bellies, even if it is chicken nuggets 3 days in a row.
Photo by Emily Wade on Unsplash
Expectation
My kids will never have any screen time. We’ll be so busy doing fun things together.
Reality
Let me start this off by saying, wrong again. I see it all the time, new parents have all these plans – we’re going to go to the park, feed the ducks, get some ice cream, and then skip all the way home while singing a song together. Hah! I’d love to see it.
Here’s what really happens – you say we should go to the park when the baby wakes up from her nap. The kids start screaming and running around while the dog gets startled and barks, knocking over the T.V. remote which wakes the baby up, now mom is yelling, the dogs losing it, and the kids are crying. And this is all before we’ve even left the house!
Okay, so we finally made it to the park, great. Now the kids are peacefully trying to build a sandcastle together, wow look at that they are working together and actually getting along. Now a little Tasmanian Devil of a child comes bolting around the corner knocking over their hard work, tripping over it in the process, hitting their face on the bottom of the slide. One kid’s bleeding, the other two are having a meltdown, and all you see are moms coming in hot from all directions running through the sand to gather their kids.
Alright, screw the park, let’s go feed the ducks. Well on the way to the pond, one says they are starving, so they open up the bread bag and start going to town. Now the other one hates germs so won’t even touch the bag of bread at this point, the bag falls and the stroller runs the bag over. Fun times.
Well then, no ducks it is. Let’s go get ice cream. Do you know how common it is for kids to drop their ice cream?! We need a new take on the classic cone, it doesn’t work anymore – does anyone else have any ideas? You might be saying a cup, yeah, that doesn’t work either. I’ve witnessed enough ice cream massacres that are enough to make your wallet shiver.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the read – keep on being awesome dads!
